Fantasy Football

Well, my decision to triple captain Harry Kane somewhat backfired! On the bench against Swansea City and on the periphery against West Ham United. Rubbish! 2018 hasn’t exactly made a flying start in the old Fantasy stakes.

Jordan Pickford, 2 points

Everton, and Pickford got done by two fine strikes by Manchester United earlier in the week. My dream of a 0-0 feels as distant as 2017.

Jamaal Lascelles, 8 points

Thank goodness for Lascelles, eh? Newcastle are suddenly hard to beat again now he is in the team and he knocked up a clean sheet and two bonus points against Stoke City. Stoke City? Weren’t they supposed to win that one kinda easily?

Phil Jones, 6 points

Two decent outings in a row again for Phil now. If he keeps that up there is a danger he’ll be starting in Russia. Yikes. He didn’t have much to deal with from Everton, meaning there was less chance of him losing his man or making a stupid mistake.

Ben Davies, 8 points

Two games this week for Benno and he kept a clean sheet against Swansea and then got through 81 minutes against West Ham. That’ll do nicely.

Cesar Azpilicueta, 1 point

Morata only scores if Cesar puts it on his head and sadly for Chelsea Alvaro was asked to finish with his feet against Arsenal. Not a good day for Cesar really.

Ben Mee, 1 point

I seem to have ended up with 5 at the back this match day and Burnley’s late defeat at Liverpool meant there was no clean sheet for Mee (or me).

Richarlison, 2 points

With Watford sinking faster than a fat girls teeth into a pie, it might be time to move Richarlison on. I can’t help but think anything good that happens will come from him, but like Aaron Mooy at Huddersfield, the good times won’t be rolling that often.

Dele Alli, 10 points

A goal that denied Harry Kane an assist at Swansea and played the full 90 against West Ham. Not a bad week for Dele as he didn’t get booked either.

David Silva, 1 point

No gags, just heartfelt sympathy for one of the nicest guys in the Premier League for what he and his family are going through right now. The fact he can even get himself on to a pitch is a credit to his mindset.

Harry Kane, 6 points

Nice one Harry, let a bit of man-flu bring you down. 22 minutes against Swansea in which he created Dele Alli’s goal but as Alli needed two bites of the cherry it didn’t count as an assist and then the full 90 against West Ham where it was a rare goalless London derby for the Spurs frontman.

Sergio Aguero, 6 points

A goal for Sergio, but he needs to crank it all up for me in the next few weeks.

Total: 51

Just above the worldwide average but far from excellent. I am still 17th in our league but as four above me no longer write for FMG they don’t count – so shall we say 13th?