Red Weekend

I’m sure you can imagine my sheer delight while watching yesterdays Super Sunday. Not only did Liverpool win, but Arsenal got beat, Chelsea drew and Everton got embarrassed again. It would have been the perfect weekend had it not been Spurs who had taken the liberty of twatting The Ev all round Wembley. The highlight though obviously came at Anfield yesterday. This City defeat has been coming for a while as many City fans admitted themselves after they narrowly beat Bristol City in midweek. Nobody obviously saw the magnitude of what they were about to suffer on the horizon, but they were up against the next best team in the league to be fair. Yes, that’s right, I said it, Manchester City and Liverpool are the two best teams in England at the minute. I’ll brace myself for everyone having a go at me and the “oh here he goes, “this is out year,” scoff scoff”. Well fuck you England, nothing is dampening my weekend.

We’re all laughing at Everton (again)

Every week I tell myself I won’t do it anymore. They are enduring enough time of it as it is, you know with them having a shit season and now having to Sam Allardyce as their manager. But when the soundbytes coming out of Goodison this week are released to the world you simply can’t ignore them. Let’s start at the clubs AGM, where Farhad Moshiri told everyone in attendance that he tried for two years to keep Romelu Lukaku at the club – only for all that hard work to be undone by a voodoo his ma knew of, who told her he’d play for Chelsea. Lukaku ended up at Manchester United. Only 50% right there Papa Shango. Then there was Everton director, Denise Barrett-Baxendale, announcing that the club would move all operations to the Liver Buildings by the end of the year. “By the end of the year, the city really will be all ours.” Couple this statement with the jubilation among Evertonians when Moshiri bought the Liver Buildings last year, and you have never seen a group of people so happy to own office space in your life (Honestly, Google some of the reactions. It borders on bizarre). There was also an Everton who stood up in the AGM and thanked Sam Allardyce for “having a go” at Anfield in the 2-1 F.A Cup defeat the weekend prior. I wonder how that fan felt when Sam said on Match of the Day on Saturday that he needed his side to be more boring from now. Probably one of two ways; either like Sam was defo the man for Everton, or like he’d been spat in the face. I know how I felt – in pain from the stitches in my sides.

Panic in the Potteries

It’s official – the head of every board member at Stoke City has fell off. They were so close to getting Quique Sanchez Flores that they actually fucked off Martin O’Neill and practically made it public knowledge he was their man. In fact this was so much the case, that when Sanchez Flores knocked them back the last minute Martin O’Neill decided he need to “stick to his word” which he had given to the FAI upon signing a new contract back in October. So who was left out there after their two main candidates bailed? Well the answer the absolute drizzling shits of management. Paul Lambert’s name was the first picked out of the hat and he’s been given a two year contract. He got sacked from Wolves in his last job. Nice knowing Stoke, see you on Channel 5 every Saturday night next season.