Reffin’ hell

This whole refereeing thing is becoming a joke now. I know that sounds like having referees full stop is a joke but bare with me. What I actually mean is that the pressure referees are put under to have superhuman eyesight to make decisions that are forty or fifty yards away is ridiculous. Especially when you consider that most of these fellas are in their mid-forties. Most arl fellas that age are lucky to even see forty or fifty centimetres in front of them – my Dad even has to squint just to look at the Sky remote! We are asking these lads not just to be able to spot these things from miles away with their heroic twenty/twenty vision, but also be able to keep up with a game that is moving at 100mph. Then, when we bring something in that will only help them in making these decisions, that is roundly criticised and so too are the referees for using it…But then you look at the weight on Jon Moss and Mike Dean and all your sympathy dissipates. Pair of fat bastards.

Silly Sam

Right, I am just going to pre-text this segment with the following statement – despite how much I laugh at the Ev in this column on a weekly basis I actually want them to do well. That being said, it is hard not to pass comment when they are such a laughing stock. They went out in the summer and bought players that fit no particular system, they celebrated buying the Liver Buildings like they were going to replace Romelu Lukaku, their AGM was a shambles, the Everton supporting mayor of Liverpool, Joe Anderson, rang the police because Ross Barkley moved to Chelsea – the list of laughable things surrounding the Ev at the minute is endless. Sam Allardyce shouldn’t be adding to it. Since coming to Goodison Park he has told their fans that Everton need to be more boring and that they copied Swansea’s tactics for the Arsenal game on Saturday, for which they were soundly beaten 5-1. Add into the mix that Sam has done nothing but criticise his players for the past few weeks and he is starting to look like the dumbest man on the planet. Sam was brought in to steady an extremely unstable ship but he looks like he might just capsize it. His constant putting down of his players in a time where they are seemingly devoid of confidence is clearly doing nobody any favours. He’s making everyone involved – the board, the fans, the players, himself – look more like a twat with each passing day. Anyone got Marco Silva’s number?

The Land of Misfits

West Ham United. Just thought I’d get that out the way in case you were wondering who the vague subtitle was referring to. You can leave now if you want. If not, then my lord are you in for a treat? This is a club who let an executive director write in The Sun. As if that wasn’t criminal enough, she then proceeded to slag off another clubs dealings when handling the future of their manager. Fast forward twelve months and it seems that the very same clubs owners have long memories when it comes to people publicly lambasting them. Who’d have thought it? West Ham go in for Islam Slimani because they’re desperate for a striker and, lo and behold, Leicester laugh in their faces. Who do they end up with? Jordan Hugill of Preston North End, a decent striker but not even the best in the Championship and certainly no Islam Slimani. The extent to which they have become a club that settles is getting dangerous for West Ham. They weren’t keen on Moyes but gave him the job anyway. They only gave Slaven Bilic so much time because they gave him a shitload of money in the summer. Now this. Remind you of anyone? *cough* Sunderland *cough*.