Let’s be honest… If Swansea can score 8 goals in a game, anything can happen, right? Join me at Joining the Dots to see what’s waiting for us this weekend.
SPURS V ARSENAL
The Saturday lunchtime fixture treats us to a very promising spectacle – one which is always entertaining, and one which Arsenal recently always seem to lose. With only one win under their belts against Spurs in the league since 2014, Arsene’s men will be looking to paint North London red again. And to be honest, I could see them doing just that. They played some electric football against Everton last weekend, and with a refreshed squad including Aubameyang and Mkhitaryan, Borussia Dortmund 2.0 are primed to give Spurs a brunch that’s tough to digest. Much like a McMuffin.
EVERTON V CRYSTAL PALACE
Every week I seem to be writing about two employers of Sam Allardyce going head to head – and here we go again. But with Big Sam having managed half the league, I guess it’s not too surprising really. Why haven’t England given him a chance yet? The Eagles are probably underdogs here, much like the Superbowl winning Eagles were. There’s hope for Palace though – the NFL outfit were up against the best team around, but Hodgson’s men are up against Idrissa Gueye.
STOKE V BRIGHTON
This is the first fixture of the gameweek to negatively affect my mental state, bringing my mood right down. I mean, it’s currently Friday evening, and nobody wants to be thinking about Stoke hosting Brighton at that time of the week. However, this game promises to be a grim reality tomorrow afternoon, and the 0-0 scoreline will be as real as can be.
SWANSEA V BURNLEY
This is the second fixture of the gameweek to negatively affect my mental state, bringing my mood right down. The Swans are on some sort of recovery, and Notts County will be the only team before the Earth inevitably gets smashed by an asteroid to have Swansea score 8 goals against them. Their newfound potency up against Burnley’s mean defence could be an interesting battle to watch, if you haven’t got some laundry to be getting on with.
WEST HAM V WATFORD
A little bit more like it. This should be a spicy all-London affair, much like the cause of many break-ups. Richarlison was pictured in tears after being substituted against Chelsea on Monday, as his Fantasy Football owners would have been.
It’s hard to see how this one will go, as both teams have possibly hit an upward curve. Deulofeu is proving to be a hit at Watford, and Chicharito is finding his goalscoring feet at West Ham (they were in the back seat of the Audi all along!).
MANCHESTER CITY V LEICESTER
The Foxes have shown up the Citizens in recent times, frustrating them with their speedy and attacking ways. Enough of my letter to the council about the local fox problem – this game may be an entertaining one if City allow Leicester to play their football. Jamie Vardy is a keen scorer against big teams, and he’ll be up against the biggest there is. So, in theory, he should bag at least a brace.
HUDDERSFIELD V BOURNEMOUTH
Imagining how this fixture may play out really brought my spirits down. Huddersfield will persist with the same game plan as always: collect a few yellow cards, perhaps even a red if feeling risky, let Mounie score his unlikely goal, concede a good few just to really ensure the other team win.
Bournemouth also have quite a solid game plan: soak up some early pressure, grow into the game during the second half and eventually snatch a winner, probably with Callum Wilson. Maybe even score a few winners if playing a top 4 side.
NEWCASTLE V MANCHESTER UNITED
What is there to say about these two? Newcastle go on benching their (by far) best player: Matt Ritchie. Not even Iniesta would make Joselu or Perez score… but your chances are clearly slimmer if you play Haidara, Hayden or Merino instead of Ritchie.
Whilst at Man United, Sanchez took on the responsibility of taking penalties, ahead of all-time-legend Romelu Lukaku. It’s all very crazy, innit?
SOUTHAMPTON V LIVERPOOL
Liverpool fans make the long trip down to the south coast, knowing that the game will likely leave them with the same slight feeling of disappointment they usually do. Who even scores deep into added time, just to concede an equalizer deeper into added time? Only Liverpool could do that, just as only Liverpool could arrive at their academy team this weekend and attempt to take 3 points off them.
CHELSEA V WEST BROM
Ah yes, the Monday Blues. The Blues’ last Monday performance certainly gave their fans the Monday Blues, and here we have the Blues, once again playing on a Monday, hoping not to give their fans the Monday Blues.
Who knows what Conte has in store for this one, so let’s just sit back and enjoy.