Don’t Look Back In Anger, I Heard You Say… Wigan Are the Best Team In The World

Picture the scene, you’re 1-0 up against arguably the best footballing team in the world, it’s the 89th minute, rather than stick nine at the back and two in goal, your centre back is chasing Kyle Walker down the wing. No other analogy could sum up Wigan Athletic better. What a bloody club!

That’s right, the Latics have beaten Man City three consecutive times in three different stadia’s while competing in three different leagues. To really place this into context, Paul Cook joins Antonio Conte, Caro Ancelotti, Claudio Ranieri, and Ronald Koeman as one of the few elite managers to have the upper hand against Pep Guardiola. He has also become the first English manager to beat Pep Guardiola in his illustrious career.

Of all the ice cream flavours Pep could have chosen after the game, he chose salty… In his post-match interview, the Spaniard bitterly said: “Congratulations to Wigan, they had one shot”. That may be true Pep but you made one fatal error, you let William Donald Grigg take the shot. He let off a fiery finessed finish which set fire to Bravo and the rest of the team’s quadruple hopes before it had even left his foot.

Most of the controversy came after the game. On the final whistle, our incredible PA system blasted out Wonderwall. Something which many City fans think the FA should sanction the tics for. When asked if they would be taking action, the FA said: “Maybeeeee!”

In true Wigan athletic style, an impromptu flash mob occurred on the pitch after the game. It has been touted as possibly the best rendition of Will Griggs on fire you’ll ever see. However, the lack of fire safety got a bit too much for some, such as Sergio Aguero, who tried to cool the celebrations by having fisticuffs with a fan.

It wouldn’t be fair to write an article about the best team in Greater Manchester, Wigan Athletic, without mentioning the legendary 35-year-old, David Perkins. For me personally, he looks a bit too much like Kevin De Bruyne for it to be a coincidence. Hopefully one day, our Lord and saviour of daytime TV Jeremy Kyle will be able to answer the question we need to know. Anyway I digress, Perkins quite literally made K.D.B. look C.R.A.P.

Being a Wigan Athletic fan can only be described as a rollercoaster, it’s only inevitable that after a big win like this, we will go on a three-game losing streak against the likes of Rochdale, Bristol Rovers, and the mighty Scunthorpe. History always repeats itself with Wigan. Just look no further than the 2013 season. The mighty tics gave Man City their first real reality check, beating them 1-0 in the FA Cup final. Arguably the best day of my life. Then only three days later I watched in misery as our eight-season tenure in the Premiership come to a crashing end at the hands of a manager who can’t even zip up his own coat. I’m of course talking about Mr Arsene Wenger. Again, arguably the worst day of my life.

Here is a Tales first, breaking news! You heard correct, journalism at its finest. According to a few inside sources I know, this game was the last one in the Whelan era. The club is set to announce its sale to Chinese investors before the upcoming match. That’s right, you are what you beat and, in our case, it’s Manchester City. Catch you in the Champions League, suckers!

This victory has cemented Wigan Athletics place in history as the ultimate underdogs. A title well and truly deserved. I can safely say the quarterly GDP of the north-west will be brought up by the entire population of Wigan as many have won small fortunes overnight thanks to some unbelievable odds and one beautiful Northern Irish man. As for City, all I can say is: “Don’t look back in anger”.

About the Author

Ryan Murray
Hi, I'm Ryan. You may know me as that wonder kid who failed to make it through the ranks at Swindon Town FC. I now spend my days studying journalism at the University of Stirling. I was also alive when Wigan Athletic won the FA Cup in 2013.