My Fantasy Football Failings: It would help if the game itself didn’t screw you over

Fantasy Football

To say I am fuming at the Fantasy Football website is an understatement.

Transfers out: Richarlison

Transfers in: Shaqiri

Save transfers?


So imagine my joy when I saw Shaqiri score another fine goal at the weekend.

And then imagine my rage when I checked to see how many points he had garnered and saw RicharlisonĀ still in my team.

Impressed? Far from it.

And with Sergio and David Silva being on League Cup Final duty it was never going to be a good week anyway.

I hate Fantasy Football.

Jordan Pickford, 3 points

Jordan, lad. At least you are getting plenty of match practice before Russia.

Ben Davies, 7 points

He is fast becoming one of my favourite players. Yet another good points haul from the Welsh international.

Cesar Azpilicueta, 1 point

It either rains or shines with Cesar, it’s rarely a bit of both. Chelsea won’t finish top four, you heard it here so far from first it could be West Bromwich Albion.

Jamaal Lascelles, 1 point

Going to Bournemouth, leading 2-0 and then gimping it in the last ten minutes kinda sums up my weekend.

Phil Jones, 0 points

Injured, innit. Hopefully, I will get Ben Mee’s two points instead.

Luka Milivojevic, 1 point

No penalties for Luka this time.

David Silva, 0 points

Scored though, right? They just don’t count for me. I assume N’Golo’s point will come my way off the bench.

Richarlison, 1 point

Oh, fuck off.

Dele Alli, 3 points

And he should have had a penalty.

Harry Kane, 12 points

Thank god for Harry.

Sergio Aguero, 0 points

Also scored. He also bloody scored. Typical.

Total: 30 points

And with that shambles, I slip back to 19th and there are more Red Arrows than at Farnborough Air Show.

I really do not know where to go from here. Obviously, if I now sign Shaqiri again he will stop scoring. That is a given. If I do transfer Richarlison out, he’ll probably remember how to play football. There’s minimal value left in the transfer market and although I’d like to get rid of Pickford now that the Allardyce bounce is long gone, who would I bring in? I need a better third striking option as I must have been drinking again when I picked Okazaki, but I cannot afford anyone who looks like scoring – yes, Ashley Barnes three months ago would have been a great shout.

All in all, like Alan Pardew, I will do well to see the season out.