Yer Da reckons that Simon Mignolet is the worst keeper in the Premier League and that Jack Butland would be a perfect signing for Arsenal. He can’t understand how Ben Foster has never been re-signed by a big club and he still reckons that Petr Cech is one of the top three goalies in the league. Then again, yer Da also voted for Brexit and holds no regrets about doing so.

Public opinion on goalkeepers is almost entirely based on the media’s agenda and what club they play for. Despite how much “Yer Da”, or your mate whose favourite Facebook page is Benchwarmers, think they’re experts on footie, they’re not. In a game full of opinions, it’s ironic that barely anyone is actually qualified enough to have an informed opinion on all 20 Premier League teams and their goalkeepers. Simply because there’s too much football to watch.

For example, West Brom played Huddersfield Town on Saturday. Now please tell me, apart from people in the football industry who are paid to watch that match, and fans of the two teams, who is sitting down to watch ninety minutes of Hegazi and Dawson heading away Sunday League-standard crosses from Rajiv van La Parra. It’s the main reason why when mates ask me who I think the best defender in the Premier League is, or what my team of the season is, I tell them I watch nowhere near enough football to know. No one does.

People don’t get their opinions from watching the game. They get them from Sky and BT, as well as the general feeling on their social media platform of choice. Nothing wrong with that, I’ve only watched about ten non-Liverpool games this season. But just don’t make it out that you’re fucking Gary Neville, when you say things like “he’s a bit dodgy” about Heurelho Gomes, when you’ve seen him play twice since 2012.

Never trust anyone who analyses football without a SkyPad.

The middle of the league is Yer Da’s dream at the moment. Just look at it in terms of goalkeepers.

7th – Nick Pope

8th – Kasper Schmeichel

9th – Jordan Pickford

10th – Heurelho Gomes (Only exception, everyone agrees he’s stealing a living)

11th – Asmir Begovic

12th – Matty Ryan

13th – Adrian

Endless praise of mid-table English goalkeepers comes when they get their team a point at Old Trafford, but their repeated howlers against the dross of the league goes unnoticed because it’s not televised. If you’re a goalkeeper in the Premier League you pretty much have license to throw the ball into your own net repeatedly once it’s a 3 pm Saturday kick-off. Don’t worry, no one’s watching.

I mean can you imagine if Claudio Bravo or Simon Mignolet did this. There’d be so many people on the pitch, the game would have to be stopped.

I don’t want to sound like former Coventry City goalkeeper David Icke, and unlike David, I don’t think Thierry Henry and Jamie Redknapp are shape-shifting lizards. But the media make up their minds about goalkeepers in the first six months of their time in England. Everything after that is viewed through the perspective bias already formed by Sky. And what Sky think, fans think.

Go on. Social experiment. What do you think about the following keepers? Hugo Lloris, Ederson, Kasper Schmeichel and Petr Cech. I’ll wait.

You probably think Hugo Lloris is one of the best shot-stoppers and all-around goalkeepers in the league, you probably salivate like a hipster over the distribution of Ederson, you probably think that Schmeichel wins Leicester points week in, week out and that Petr Cech is still alright but is slowly losing it.

Am I right?

So, make “Yer Da” watch Match of The Day every week, and don’t turn off after 3 games, make him watch the whole fucking lot, even the post 11 pm shite. Watch West Brom dog it out against Huddersfield in a game with 4 shots on target in the whole match. Watch every single goal that goes in, in “The Greatest League in the World”. Watch Foster, Forster, Butland, and Pickford get nowhere near long-range efforts and commentators put it down as a “rare mistake”. Then watch it the next week and see the same thing happen again and again and again. Then make Yer Da look you in the eye and tell you that Nick Pope is good enough to play for Liverpool.

You’re wrong Dad, wrong about Brexit and wrong about goalkeepers. It’s not just Simon Mignolet whose shite, they’re all shite.

All the best.