So once again the UK has gone into a frenzy due to the snow. The lack of preparation, the lack of salt, and the lack of gritters will surely be the forefront of every news channel for the next few weeks. However, spare a moment for me and the millions of football fans who will have to resort to La Liga football which doesn’t involve Barcelona spanking a team I can’t pronounce. Failing that we will have to resort the dreaded, coupon destroying Serie A for our fix. Also known as ‘La Lega di Cheats’ to the natives.
Tonight, we are supposed to be witnessing the tragedy that is Arsenal football club face the second-best team in the UK, Manchester City (behind the mighty Wigan). However, it is with deep sadness I announce that the bookies are claiming Arsenal have once again fallen victim to the ‘Beast from the East’. Only this time it doesn’t come in the shape of 6ft20 Eastern European God, Nemanja Zigic, in the 2011 FA Cup final.
Arsenal wasn’t the first team to succumb to the ‘Beast from the East’. Its first victim was every Scottish football game for the next two months. You’d think for a country which is bleaker than Saido Berahino’s goal-scoring prospects, that they would be prepared for this kind of thing.
Once upon a time playing football in the snow was considered a privilege. Nothing beat the feeling of seeing the referee come walking out with the illustrious florescent orange football. These games brought football back to its routes. It didn’t matter how many stepovers you could do or how fast you can run. All that mattered was that you could kick the ball long, take a strong tackle and withstand the pain of a shot rattling against your ice-cold skin.
Thankfully we were treated to a snippet of the old days as Peterborough battled through the snow to beat Walsall 2-1, in a game full of long balls, shocking first touches, and players doing their best Bambi on ice impressions. Yet here we are, looking at the prospect of a weekend without any games. A fate worse than an international break. I would much prefer to see the look of confusion on the faces of Javier Hernandez and Roberto Firmino as they see snow for the first time, so I can judge them live from the comfort of my central heated home.
Let them play, I say. Let’s see some real football, from real players. No fancy flicks or tricks, just a bunch of high-quality players dressed in a ridiculous amount of under armour.
So, what are you going to do with your night now? Here’s an idea! Why don’t you search up a pompous, stereotypical article, written by some self-proclaimed footballing guru about how we can learn from Danish football on how to cope with the snow. All because the writer went to Denmark on a middle-class ski holiday when they were 12. What a snowflake! I think I’ll just give that article the cold shoulder.