I’ll be honest, these are difficult times in the life of Marinho. My dissertation deadline is looming, and my ability to stay up to date in the footballing world is being sorely tested. Nonetheless, I will do my best to produce a piece of work that resembles the writing of a semi-literate fan of the beautiful game, arguably showing a marked improvement in my work.
Happily, unlike last week’s drubbing, my 6-a-side team recorded a 3-0 win (against Klopps and Robbers), getting the week off to a flyer. On the same night I was delighted to see that Nathan Dyer was still alive and well, being wheeled out for FA Cup games like the fancy tablecloth my mum used to get out every time someone from work came round for dinner. However, despite not being used for at least 6 years, I think it’s safe to say my mum’s fancy tablecloth still has a better chance of coming into contact with a cup this season than Nathan Dyer.
I must admit, when I checked BBC Sport on Wednesday night and saw the headline “Llorente nets hatrick”, I thought my dissertation had finally driven me to insanity. But then I saw “amidst VAR controversy”, and breathed a sigh of relief as I remembered how beautifully incapable our implementation of the system has been. I haven’t even read the article at this point – I don’t even know the score – but I can’t wait to see what monumental cock-up we’ve made. Again. Will it be another non-penalty? Has Dele Alli dived and not been penalised? Perhaps it’s one of those “if you look closely, you’ll see the last 2mm of his studs in line with the defender’s moustache” offside decisions we’ve come to know and love. Either way, I’m certain it won’t be a dull highlights reel (when I finally get round to watching it).
Ok, update: I’m watching the highlights now, bathing in Robbie Savage’s sultry tones, and I can confirm that the controversy in this game is far more absorbing than any of my earlier predictions. I thought I could watch the highlights and quickly sum up the drama, however I don’t think I can do Savage’s constant outbursts any justice. In truth, it would be rude to finish without giving an honourable mention to Arsenal. The North London side not only managed to lose 3-0 to the same team, twice in the space of four days, but managed to dent the confidence of their only goal threat in the process. Oh well, at least they’re not 5 points closer to the foot of the table than they are to the league leaders. Oh wait.