Who is the nicest footballer on the planet?

Todays Tales

Yes, it is a serious question. Who is the nicest footballer on the planet? No, it’s not any of the Tottenham Hotspur players for letting Gianluigi Buffon continue in his quest to retire with a Champions League medal around his neck. The nicest footballer on the planet does not play for Manchester City, despite City giving Basel a victory they will probably never forget. The nicest footballer on the planet plays for Liverpool Football Club and goes by the name of Andrew Robertson.

The Liverpool full-back wrote a lovely little letter to young Alfie Radford following the youngster donating all his pocket money to a local food bank. Robertson also sent Alfie a signed Roberto Firmino shirt, probably realising it would be more appreciated than one of his own. For once on Tales, all joking aside, this is a top gesture from a top-flight player.

Apparently, and you don’t actually have to believe this, but Cristiano Ronaldo has “sanctioned” a move for Andrew Robertson’s team-mate, Mohamed Salah. The thing is, in the crazy world of Ronaldo and Real Madrid, you could almost believe this was true. Jurgen Klopp won’t be keen to sell, mainly because he is not an idiot, but if he does have to replace Salah he’d like Madrid Dani Carvajal in return. Er, Jurgen lad. You do know Dani is a right back, no?

Chelsea and Arsenal would like a new centre-back for slightly different reasons, so are likely to toss a coin over who gets to be linked to Napoli’s Kalidou Koulibaly for the rest of the season and some of the summer before neither actually end up with him.

Anthony Martial would appreciate the opportunity to sit down with Mr Ed and politely enquire as to whether Manchester United plan to offer him a new contract as he wouldn’t mind knowing what his future holds. But Anthony, they probably will offer you a new deal and then sell you anyway, my man. Even Ed is not stupid enough to let you go for free.

Phil Neville appears to be getting hold of this management lark. The former Manchester United title-winner saw his England Ladies side lose 1-0 to the USA due to a defensive error and has cleverly worked out where the side needs to improve.

“We need to stop making defensive errors”.

Money well spent there, then.

Phil would do well to learn from Antonio Conte when it comes to tricks of the management trade. Conte, clearly so distressed at Chelsea, has had a long face long enough for Paris Saint-Germain to notice, especially now they plan to give Unai Emery the Fellaini treatment. PSG are thought to be preparing to bring the Italian to Paris which would be a win for both Roman and Antonio considering that PSG will just pay whatever Abramovich suggests.

Finally, Tottenham Hotspur. You thought I was going to let this pass? Not a chance. Roy Keane says, “Tottenham lack experience at the top level” which is pretty clear considering this was the first time they’d been in this position. Giorgio Chiellini said, “Tottenham lacked the mental strength” to get the job done. I say, “don’t put wings on Tottenham and expect them to fly, they are still Tottenham”. Juventus were probably the better side for 25 minutes tops over the two legs yet still managed to knock out Spurs. A note to Tottenham. Just because you are now thought to be the bigger team in North London, you don’t actually have to be Arsenal. You are allowed to win matches like last night’s.