Tales Top Tips

You don’t need a paragraph of ramble in this afternoon’s Tales Top Tips when Manchester United against Liverpool is the first match on offer. But will they please, for once, give us a game that won’t be forgotten by tea time?

Manchester United vs Liverpool

No doubt the bus has been in for a service this week. Liverpool are flying as an attacking force and we all know what Jose Mourinho likes to do against teams that are flying as an attacking force. There is every chance we are going to see a home performance so devoid of attacking intent you could dress them in blue and call them Chelsea. Weighing all that up, plus the pressure Liverpool will be under to make it clear they are the second-best team in the Premier League, I can see Romelu Lukaku shinning in the winner quite late on. Dejan Lovren has, understandably, blamed his poor run of form on the shocking break-ins to his home earlier in the season. Still, Merseyside eh?

Manchester United 1 – 0 Liverpool

Everton vs Brighton & Hove Albion

Sham Allarfarce has said, “I cannot keep losing matches and expect to be manager of Everton FC” leading the vast majority of Everton fans to start praying for a Brighton win on Saturday. Albion beat Arsenal last week, therefore meaning they could properly do AC Milan as well. Glenn Murray will be gutted that Ashley Williams is suspended as that makes his hopes of scoring yet another goal more challenging.

Everton 0 – 1 Brighton & Hove Albion

Huddersfield Town vs Swansea City

Huddersfield, I recall them winning recently. Swansea City definitely won last time out, they smashed West Ham United 4-1, which is always fun to see. This is one of those big relegation matches and Huddersfield Town do have a habit of coming up trumps in this situation so far this season. Swansea City are so much better (and more fun to follow) under Carlos Carvalhal so just for that reason, I am saying draw.

Huddersfield Town 1 – 1 Swansea City

Newcastle United vs Southampton

Another relegation battle! A team that rarely scores home or away against a Rafa Benitez side that is hoping to defend their way to safety. This won’t be one for purveyors of open, attacking football but could be one for those that like chess being played with footballers. It might well get mentioned a few times that Mauricio used to work for Rafa as well.

Newcastle United 1 – 0 Southampton

West Bromwich Albion vs Leicester City

I am not entirely sure how Alan Pardew is still in gainful employment, but he is so we have to accept it. Surely a defeat to Leicester City spells the end for Pardew and also means the board have left it too late to bring in some kind of Red Adair?

West Bromwich Albion 0 – 2 Leicester City

West Ham United vs Burnley

Burnley finally won a game of football after a long winless streak and they will be eyeing up West Ham United. Yet West Ham will be looking to bounce back from the utter dicking they got in Wales. It is a tough one to call this, but I am going to go against my true beliefs and say the Hammers will steal this 1-0.

West Ham United 1 – 0 Burnley

Chelsea vs Crystal Palace

Oh, Palace. You were so close to beating United. Wilf Zaha could well be back for you though, and that will help the penalty count if nothing else. Chelsea might even venture out of their own half in this one, which will be nice for their fans. Barcelona will be on their minds though.

Chelsea 1 – 1 Crystal Palace

Arsenal vs Watford

The crisis is over. I repeat, the crisis is over. Until Arsenal totally gimp it against Troy Deeney and co, that is. Imagine Troy getting his third in three games and it being the winner at the Emirates. That would actually be quite amusing. Who can predict this? Arsenal are just as likely to lose 2-1 as they are to stick five past the Hornets. Arsene Wenger was “happy” with the response to the bad run, but will he be burying his head in his hands yet again? I think he might.

Arsenal 1 – 2 Watford

AFC Bournemouth vs Tottenham Hotspur

Oh, Spurs. This brings you back down to earth, no? A trip to the smallest Premier League ground where in midweek you led the Old Lady 1-0 at half-time and were on the verge of the Champions League Quarter Finals. What a difference a few days makes. It will be interesting to see whether Spurs sulk or take it out on Eddie Howe’s men. I am going for the latter.

AFC Bournemouth 1 – 4 Tottenham Hotspur

Stoke City vs Manchester City

I feel a little for Paul Lambert’s men here. Pep won’t have liked losing to Basel in midweek, even if it didn’t matter. I think City might have some making up to do, which spells big trouble in the Potteries.

Stoke City 0 – 4 Manchester City