As the International Break looms on it turns out it’s a very slow week for football news. As a result, much of this week’s breaking news isn’t actually news.

The first thing we shall cover is the story that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is no longer a Manchester United player, the club agreed to cancel his contract early to allow him to move on. However, one could easily argue that this isn’t really news, as unfortunately, Zlatan hasn’t played for United since last year, after aggravating his knee injury.

Whilst Ibrahimovic posted a long heartfelt message online about how good things must come to the end, like an angry ex-girlfriend Manchester United bluntly summarised it with a two-sentence statement. Yep, we’re no longer together, no I’m fine, Honestly, I’m fine just go.

Whilst the club themselves may not have been forthcoming with their love and support and gratitude for the self-proclaimed God, players and fans took the internet to react.

Marcus Rashford gracefully thanked Zlatan for helping him become a better player, however, some people weren’t quite as gracious, Eric Bailey summed up the situation with two simple words, “F*ck Off.” Much to the delight of many Twitter users

It turns out the indestructible god wasn’t quite as indestructible as he thought, suffering a ligament injury towards the tail end of last season, he re-signed for the Red Devils, hoping to come back and reach the form he hit last season.

Unfortunately, it didn’t pan out quite as he planned, much like the Greek Hero Achilles suffered from his heel, the Hero of Sweeden seems to have suffered from Zlatan Knee. And hasn’t looked the same since.

It isn’t all bad news, however, as he will be swapping scenic Manchester for sunny Los Angeles, and hopefully, he will hit the heights at Galaxy that he did for United.

Also in the week of Non-news, it turns out Jack Wilshere is once again injured, a man who has managed to pick up more injuries than England pick up test cricket runs.

Many fans have expressed outrage at the fact that one of the new England Replica kits will cost over £90 for a full kit, however, the cost is understandable given that they will be packed full of padding and bubble wrap to fully replicate Jack Wilshere’s kit.

Manchester United have announced that they will be forming a women’s team, although questions have already been raised as to whether we’ll still be able to refer to them as Man United.

Alex Mcleish has kicked off his Scotland reign with the surprising revelation that Charlie Mulgrew will be captain for the forthcoming friendly, Mulgrew plays in the lowest league of all the Scottish players but has impressed Alex enough to be named captain, to be fair he’s managed to captain Blackburn Rovers and lead his team to actually win some games, which with the state that they are in is one hell of an acheivment, he’s managed to get a bunch of people that were ballsing up on a regular basis and that couldn’t work together for love nor money on the same page and work together to deliver results, shit we should make him Prime Minister.