You’re jealous – it’s fine
Liverpool Football Club possess the greatest fans in the world. People have a go at us and moan about us, saying that we think we are above everyone and we think we are something. They’re right – we are above everyone and we are something. There’s no other club in the country who could create an atmosphere like we did last Wednesday night at Anfield when we beat Manchester City in the Champions League quarter-final first leg. There’s no other set of fans in Britain who would line the streets three hours prior to kick off to welcome their team into the stadium. There’s no other fans in the world that can beat teams before a ball has even been kicked. It’s a cliche these days but Liverpool’s fans really are like a twelfth player. The fume we have generate amongst fans of other clubs though has been great. They know that everything I have said above is trued and they hate it. Lads, it’s sound, we can’t all be Liverpool fans, we all need our own niche. Some of us need to be moaners like Everton fans, while some of us need a sense of entitlement like Spurs fans are getting these days. You can all whinge about Liverpool fans though for now because it contradicts everything you have all been saying for ages now. Apparently we do still matter.
No shame Kane
Harry Kane, la. Here is one of the best strikers in the world, twenty four league goals to his name this season, on the plane to the World Cup this summer. Here he is, trying to take goals of his team-mates. What a twat! Lad, why would you be this much of a snide? Why can’t you let one of your mates have a goal? Why have you got to be this much of an egotistical knobhead? Are you really that desperate to be top goalscorer? Surely your goal bonus isn’t that much. I mean, I know Spurs have a wage cap and Levy’s just given himself a pay bump (deservedly so by the way). I’m sure you can let Christian Eriksen have this one though and you don’t need to be this much of a stig. You even swore on your baby girl’s life! Harry, chill. It’s one goal mate. I’m sure you’ll get more this season.
We aren’t blind
Just take a look at North London Red. Look at the state of them. Not even their traditional late season upturn in fortune will save them this season. I don’t even think winning the Europe League will deem this a successful season. They may have beaten Southampton 3-2 at the weekend and it may have seemed like a positive win given the later goal by Danny Welbeck, but they were 2-0 up for Christ’s sake. Southampton are 18th in the Premier League. This should have been three points won at a canter. Instead, it was a win just about claimed. As if their team’s performance wasn’t enough to insult them, the club, in their infinite wisdom, announced the game a sell out – despite the empty seats in the stadium being evidence to the contrary. Ivan Gazidis, Alisher Usmanov, Stan Kroenke and the rest of the Arsenal board, if some very unlikely string of events have led you to this article then maybe you could try this; stop lying to your fans, admit your problems, get rid of your manager and, above all else, stop insulting EVERYONE’S intelligence. It’s now sickening to watch.