Tales Top Tips

We are heading into a long run of Premier League football over the next six days or so, just so you are warned. In this run, Manchester City will be crowned Champions (which will no doubt remove the pain of the last week for them) and West Bromwich Albion will be relegated. You probably don’t need to know much more than that, but I shall take you up to the weekend anyway!

Southampton vs Chelsea

It’s not much fun being either team, right now. If you are Southampton, you have seen off Claude Puel, been given hope in Mauricio Pellegrino, failed him and been punished with the appointment of Mark Hughes. The likes of Preston North End and Ipswich Town are already looking forward to seeing how a ‘well-run club’ will do in the Championship dogfight next season. As for Chelsea, well they are looking at a dose of Europa League football, which will be a lovely treat for whoever takes this on from Antonio Conte next season. As for this match, Southampton should be fighting for their lives against a team that have an FA Cup Semi Final on their mind as that is all that is left for them. But, it won’t be enough for the Saints who could well go down with Sparky failing to win a Premier League match.

Southampton 0 – 1 Chelsea

Burnley vs Leicester City

Burnley are on the march to Europe, apparently. And Sean Dyche claims he is ‘strawberry blonde’. That’s got to be far more newsworthy than Leicester City players trying to force Claude Puel out of the door? It feels like it’s the Ranieri situation all over again, minus the league title. Just bring back Nigel Pearson like the existing crew probably want and everyone will be happy.

Burnley 2 – 0 Leicester City

Crystal Palace vs Brighton & Hove Albion

Two teams that hate each other and two teams that definitely need a few more points to make sure they stay up. Wilf Zaha has accused people of jumping on the ‘bandwagon’ about his alleged diving. Surely they have dived on to the bandwagon? Either way, Zaha isn’t too happy but is one hell of a player. Brighton will have a better chance of winning if they keep their attacking players on the pitch and if said attacking players (looking at you Glenn) scores any penalties given. Mind you, not shelling completely daft goals at the other end would also do the job. After turning Palace around, albeit briefly, I’d love Roy’s Redemption to be complete and for him to stay up, but I also like Chris Hughton. Can I request both remain in the Premier League?

Crystal Palace 2 – 1 Brighton & Hove Albion

Huddersfield Town vs Watford

Watford are finished for the season (since November) and Huddersfield have a lot to play for. Therefore it stands to reason that Huddersfield will find a way to drop points here. Who knows, Richarlison might remind us why teams like Manchester United are prepared to make rather large bids for him this summer.

Huddersfield Town 1 – 1 Watford

Swansea City vs Everton

I used to have a soft spot for Everton having grown up in the 80s. That soft spot no longer exists, I have to say. Even when it was Joe Royle’s Dogs of War there was something alright about it all. But this version? This Sham Allarfarce monstrosity? Not for me, thank you. I do like Carlos Carvalhal so I would like Swansea City to win, please.

Swansea City 2 – 0 Everton

Liverpool vs AFC Bournemouth

Liverpool must still be drunk on the fumes of getting into the Champions League semi-final where they have drawn (I must remember to put something here by the time this publishes). AFC Bournemouth are probably the ideal side for them to be playing in their slightly inebriated state as they will come to Anfield, open themselves up and give plenty of space to whichever team King Klopp picks to run into. Liverpool are safe into a top four place now, so you cannot blame them if they wrap Firmino, Mane and Salah up in cotton wool for the European matches. Harry Kane likes that idea, anyway.

Liverpool 3 – 1 AFC Bournemouth

Tottenham Hotspur vs Manchester City

Press them, Poch. Press them. Have a go at them. Don’t sit back. Test them! Have City been rumbled? Well, no. Of course they haven’t. They will win the Premier League and rightly so. But there is a slight chink of light for other teams now, and if Tottenham do want to be taken seriously as a ‘contender’ then they should smell blood here. Harry Kane’s confidence will be sky high after he realised he can talk anyone into awarding him a goal no matter how much he missed the ball by, so I can see the number 10 getting all three Spurs goals on Saturday. Pep will just be hoping City are not winning at halftime.

Tottenham Hotspur 3 – 3 Manchester City

Newcastle United vs Arsenal

I can only admire Rafa Benitez. Not only does he continue with the goatee about a decade after they were last cool, but he has managed to keep Newcastle United in the Premier League using only a couple of loan signings, some chewing gum and telling Jonjo Shelvey he is Andrea Pirlo. That is proper management, right there. As for Arsene, he’s only going to go and win the Europa League, isn’t he? Which is why we will probably see a weakened Arsenal side at St James’ Park (not that the cynics will be able to tell the difference). Rafa to win, Burnley to catch Arsenal!

Newcastle United 2 – 0 Arsenal

Manchester United vs West Bromwich Albion

This hardly sets the pulse racing, does it? Jose is back in fashion after masterminding United’s comeback last weekend. Darren Moore has the impossible job, picking up the pieces left by Alan Pardew. As far as Sunday entertainment goes, this isn’t it.

Manchester United 3 – 0 West Bromwich Albion