Pan The Pundits makes it’s literally unawaited return because I’m very lazy. This week it’s back with Gary, Al and Wrighty as I attempt not to lose the will to live watching the likes of Burnley and Leicester. Best League In The World and all that right?
We started at Wembley where Spurs haven’t bottled much recently. Well, apart from the Champions League. They hosted City who bottled winning the title against United by falling asleep for a bit something I may never forgive them for. How is it possible to make United fans more insufferable? They needed to win to get one hand on the title which, funnily enough, is something Spurs have bottled before.
Aye, City are no bad. They rather cruised this one but Spurs were really not that good. I mean when City just ping one over the top to score then you know you’re not brilliant. Admittedly, having the son of God is cheating but still. Spurs could feel aggrieved that the penalty wasn’t in the box but who cares? Also, can someone please tell me what Erik Lamela does? Anyone?
It was to Southampton next where the Saints have appointed a new boss since the last PtP. Sadly for them, that man is Mark Hughes. Sparky gets his Saints debut against Chelsea on PtP who themselves have not been very good. Seeing a Chelsea win or Alvaro Morata goal is like seeing a West Brom win at Old Trafford. Actually, scrap that…
Welp, Southampton are down. Imagine being two up and bottling it. You’d never catch City doing tha… damn it! To be fair to the Saints, they were very good for an hour but, sadly, football matches last 90 minutes and Southampton aren’t good at defending. Marcos Alonso tried to hurt Shane Long too which I will not comment on.
It was to Selhurst Park next where the Wevolution is somehow out of the relegation zone despite specialising in throwing away leads. They were hosting Brighton who were somehow 13th. The absolute state of the bottom three.
If games lasted 45 minutes then this would be brilliant. Jonathan Pearce gave us a wonderful pearl of wisdom when he quipped “Brighton have started playing football at 2-0 down”. As opposed to what? F**king shinty. They were playing football; just badly. Wilf Zaha Nugented his first the greedy arse but was generally the difference here. Palace are still crap as are Brighton.
F**k me, it was time for excitement as Huddersfield hosted Watford. Both sides are sort of safeish but not quite. Fun fun fun!
It was to Anfield next where Liverpool breezed to victory over Bournemouth. I’d rather take the chance to talk seriously for a moment as this game was played the day before the 29th anniversary of Hillsborough. We should never forget the 96 and the fight for justice.
Back to more light-hearted stuff and, oh great, here comes Burnley against Leicester. Both sides are fighting it out for seventh place, a truly prestigious honour if ever there was one.
Nice of Burnley to show up for 15 minutes to win the game. They probably owe a debt to Nick Pope who made multiple saves including one with his arsehole from a Mahrez header. Arse of steel.
We finished this week at the Liberty where Swansea took on Everton. It finished 1-1 and I swear to Christ if I had to write any more about it I’d go mad.
So, what have we learned this time? Well, City are good, most of the other teams are not, Huddersfield vs Watford happened and the Premier League really does suck doesn’t it?