Revealing a signing in 2017 isn’t what it used to be, is it? I mean, this week we have had Aston Villa doing a mock WhatsApp conversation about John Terry joining. And now we have Arsenal revealing the signing of Alexandre Lacazette bit by bit. THE BID HAS BEEN ACCEPTED! Quick, reveal that! HE HAS HAD HIS MEDICAL! Quick, reveal that! Actually, Arsenal, what I am interested in seeing is Lacazette on the turf at the Emirates, doing some keepy ups in his shirt and holding a scarf. THAT is when you reveal a deal is done. Not via Instagram, not via Twitter, but good old fashioned in the flesh take some photos and get them in the paper the next day. Oh, and whack it on Teletext will you?
Also joining Arsenal is Jens Lehman. Well, they’ve never really replaced him, have they? Oh, my mistake. He’s going back as a coach. Not as a goalkeeper coach it has been very clearly pointed out, but as a coach. Will he be another Steve Bould, sitting there nodding his agreement? Or will he as much of a nutter as a coach as he was a player? Frankly, the club needs a bit of the latter.
Still loitering by the exit door is Olivier Giroud, believed to be off to Goodison to do Wayne Rooney’s running for him up top. My word, can you imagine a less energetic front two than those two? I know Rooney has traditionally put a shift in, but he is no spring chicken anymore and Giroud is more of a finisher than a grafter. We shall see how that turns out. Oh, yeah. Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney to Everton is on, in case you’ve been living in a cave for the last twenty-four hours. As I said the other day, never trust a kit launch.
Leicester City seem to still be under the impression that Troy Deeney is worth £20m, the silly fools. They are very keen to get the Watford skipper for some reason, and they don’t seem to care what he will cost. Each to their own. More sensibly, the Foxes have signed Vicente Iborra from Sevilla, where the midfielder won the Europa League three times. Nampalys Mendy is heading back to France with “failure” tatooed to his forehead.
Diego Costa might be about to have a six-month holiday. Atletico Madrid are deadly serious about signing the Chelsea striker and are not going to let the fact that they are banned from signing new players for six months get in the way. The fact is, they are banned from registering new signings technically, so they can chuck Chelsea the sum of cash, get their man but can’t actually play him until January. Therefore Diego will be left kicking his heels until then. He’ll be hungry to play, that’s for sure.
Huddersfield Town are efficiently doing some summer business. They have now signed a Benin international from Ligue 1 side Montpellier for £11m. He goes by the name of Steve Mounié and he is rather good apparently. 14 goals in Ligue 1 back up that outlandish statement and joins Tom Ince, signed from Derby County, and Aaron Mooy signed from Manchester City. There’s also an American centre back in there somewhere. Huddersfield might just surprise a few people, you know.
One newspaper article suggesting Rafa Benitez might be ready to walk away from Newcastle United certainly sprung Mike Ashley into action. Eibar’s Florian Lejeune has been confirmed, joining Christian Atsu as the other new face at the the club.
Finally, despite spending a lot of money and planning to spend more, Pep Guardiola has warned Manchester City fans he cannot guarantee trophies next season. That’s why he is a genius, after all.