Come on lads, we were all laughing at Thibaut Courtois’ penalty so you can’t really blame Michy Batshuayi for having a bit of a smirk as he saw the ball heading towards Madrid. Equally, you can’t really blame him for having a proper giggle when Alvaro Morata, purchased as Antonio Conte isn’t convinced Michy is man enough to lead the attack, missed his spot kick. Sod all the chat of “being a team”, this lad just wants to play and he seems to enjoy himself when playing. Hell, did Jimmy Bullard leave no Premier League legacy whatsoever?

Liverpool are not a selling club. I repeat, Liverpool are not a selling club. Unless of course, Barcelona wafts the scent of £100m or so under the noses of the owners. Then they are very much a selling club. But Jurgen Klopp shall not panic, oh no. So what if Coutinho goes? He probably has a string of targets that are not on anyone else’s radar. What’s that? Thomas Lemar, you say? And Ousmane Dembele? Christian Pulisic? Wait, is that Kylian Mbappe on the same list? Riyad Mahrez? Do me a favour. Liverpool fans had better fast come to terms with the fact that Shinji Ojo had better be getting himself first team ready.

Whilst they are at it, they may as well let Emre Can go to Juventus too. Selling Coutinho pretty much guarantees that Liverpool won’t even hit the Champions League groups, let alone finish fourth in the Premier League.

Even Virgil van Dijk is massively confused. Hours after Kloppo claimed he was happy with his four centre backs (yeah, right) the Southampton defender chucked in a transfer request, trying to force a move to Anfield. But Virgil, Jurgen is very happy with his defensive options and you’ve had all summer to put all this in writing you fool.

Every summer brings a transfer saga, and this summer is no different. Gylfi Sigurdsson to Everton from Swansea City might well still happen. And then again, it might not. Also, scoring the winning penalty at Wembley does not make Olivier Giroud any less likely to be remaining at Arsenal, and with Ronald Koeman starting to realise the main flaw in his whole rebuild is called Wayne, he still wants the Frenchman to lead his new look line.

Having seen what a great thing an emotional return “home” can be, Ashley Young could well be on his way out of Old Trafford and heading south to Vicarage Road to turn out for Watford, just like he did back in the day. Watford are also believed to think that Alberto Moreno is an upgrade on any of their potential left backs and would like Liverpool to sell them to him. But, remember, Liverpool are not a selling club.

Rafa Benitez has been noticed looking grumpy and sullen in Newcastle, mainly because there has been minimal movement in the transfer market by the Magpies. To appease him, or maybe upset him further, Lucas Perez could well be winging his way North from Arsenal as you read this.

Brighton have made a Propper signing. Oh yes. Davy Propper has joined the Premier League newcomers for a club record £10m from PSV Eindhoven.

According to Yaya Toure, Pep Guardiola is bringing style to Manchester City. Trophies, no. Expensive fullbacks, yes. Kids into the first team, no. Style, oh yes.

Manchester United, a club famed for bringing through their youth players, are sending Timothy Fosu-Mensah, capable of playing right back, and Cameron Borthwick-Jackson, capable of playing left back, out on loan to Crystal Palace and Leeds United respectively. And, guess what? They want to spend lots of money on a new defender capable of playing right back and left back. That man is still Paris Saint-Germain’s Serge Aurier if they can persuade border control to let him in the country. To reiterate his desire to develop talent, Jose is keen to sign a young prospect that is thought to be the future of Welsh football. If Real Madrid decide that Gareth Bale isn’t up to scratch then Mourinho will be only to keen to put him ahead of Marcus Rashford in the United pecking order, and he’ll even pay Real Madrid for the pleasure.