The Real Football Man Review Of The Week: Pay Your Levy

The Real Football Man

We’ve arrived haven’t we, we have truly arrived. That’s right, we are knee deep in the summer silly season of transfer news and the worrying thing is that we have another six weeks or so of this. Hold onto your hats, apply some sun cream and put your sun glasses on as it is time for the Real Football Man review of the week.

Avid readers of this column will no doubt be aware that I have returned from a break from writing duties, like Wayne Rooney after a session in Marbella I’m no real fresher than before but that is not to say the writing will contain a drop in quality, well at least I hope not anyway.

The only problem is where is the football… In a week where (insert player here) has been linked with, in most cases, Manchester United, the footballing world is just waiting for something, nay anything, to happen.

Yes, there have been a smattering of international tournaments, like when England faced Germany and crashed out of the European Championships due to Andreas Moller’s winning penalty, no hang on that was in 1996.

Let me try that again. Yes there have been a smattering of international tournaments like when England faced Germany and crashed out of the European Championships due to Nathan Redmond’s shocking penalty in the shootout but the football by and large has been pretty tepid in all fairness.

In that head to head in Poland they could, and should, have just gone to penalties and saved us all the bother of watching 120 minutes of “action” but these are the lengths we put ourselves through when the year ends in an odd number.

The Confederations Cup has not been all that better, has it? If this is a dress rehearsal for next summer’s World Cup then Russia could do with getting themselves some new clothes. A tournament that, bar Portugal giving us all a laugh on Wednesday night due to their own woeful spot-kick performance, is a tournament that has failed to excite.

With FIFA looking to expand their much maligned Club World Cup to resemble something more akin to the all-conquering Champions League, expect this tournament to be mothballed and join the likes of the Anglo-Italian Cup or the Makita Trophy (ask your Dad).

So with what paltry offerings there have been in regards to on-pitch action it brings us to matters off it. Jose Mourinho’s attempt to field a starting eleven with twenty players is no closer to coming to fruition after more frustration in the transfer market.

The hunt for the marquee signing continues as the United boss now looks further and further down the list. Antoine Griezmann and Gareth Bale have already said no as it turns out that Madrid is just slightly hotter than Manchester all year round, while Cristiano Ronaldo is in something of a taxing situation right now.

We shouldn’t leave out Alvaro Morata who is arguably not quite what United fans had in mind in regards to a blockbuster signing, not forgetting the fact his price seems to get higher and higher as the weeks progress. Then, of course, there is Harry Kane.

Call me a cynic, but I think the report of Kane being eyed by Jose Mourinho with a view to bringing him to Old Trafford was some very easy Sunday morning journalism last weekend.

But had Mourinho and the Tottenham chairman actually spoken then that would have been a particularly fun conversation, something resembling this I would have imagined:

JM: So Daniel how much for Harry Kane?

DL: You know I like to drive a hard bargain….£200m.

JM: £200M!!?

DL: Welcome to the Levy-Zone.

So that is where we are at really, having to make up hypothetical phone calls in a bid to edge closer to the start of the football season. Oh well at least the Tour De France starts on Saturday.

Anyway it’s good to be putting my thoughts on the internet again, that concludes my whistlestop tour of what has happened in the world of football, I’ll be back next week. Until then.