Adu not want him

There’s times when I really struggle to write these articles. Like, I’m literally sat in my living room tearing my hair for stuff to write because, well, football can be so boring – especially in the summer. So you can imagine my utter delight when I read about the current sitch with former child prodigy, Freddy Adu. Having binned off the Brazilian second division, been released from North American Soccer League and failing at a trial with Blackpool when they were still in the Championship, Adu last week found himself on trial with Polish Ekstraklasa side, Sandecja Nowy Sacz. Adu must have thought he was going up in the world having previously played in Finland and Serbia, but things took a turn for the worse before Adu had even got off the plane. Manager Randoslaw Mrockowski gave the following interview regarding his potential new signing:

‘I just heard someone picked him up from the airport…This is not my idea, so let’s face it, the man who wants to have Frank Adu on the team, I do not accept this, it was not consulted with me…I will not test it, as someone else wants, and they can do it. In my opinion, the club is so ridiculous. Instead of building a team in a sensible way, we are looking for old vacuum cleaners.”

Harsh words. The manager was so irate with this potential transfer that he couldn’t even be arsed getting poor Freddy’s name right. When Sandecja Nowy Sacz, 8th place in the Polish Ekstraklasa, are not interested, then it’s nearly time to hang up your boots. But don’t worry Freddy lad, I hear Persib Bandung are looking for a new striker.

Carlton Cole is officially Bandung

Which brings me very nicely to our next story. When Carlton Cole was released by Sacramento Republic of the NASL in March this year following a season with Celtic, he must have had visions of a Jermain Defoe style return from American exile to the Premier League. Instead, no one was arsed and Cole had to scratch around for anyone to take him. Eventually he convinced Indonesian side Persib Bandung to take a punt on a 33 year old striker with a touch like a virgin the same age and the goalscoring record of a goalkeeper. Umuh Muchtar staked his esteemed reputation on the former West Ham striker and gave him a 10 month deal. But last week, 5 months into his contract, Bandung cancelled Cole’s deal out the blue.

It seemed that having played 5 games, scoring no goals, Muchtar was, how can I put this politely, keen to wish Cole the best in his future endeavours. In fact, Muchtar simply said, “He plays very badly compared to the other foreign players who have come to Persib. His performance is the worst.” Cole maintains that he is a victim of politics at the club. Apparently he wasn’t brought to Bandung by the manager so the manager isn’t keen on him. I can’t say I’ve been watching too much of the Indonesian Super League lately. But I don’t find it completely unbelievable that, when you compare the performances of the foreign players – Persib Bandung also have Michael Essien in their squad by the way – in training or matches, that Carlton Cole is up there among the worst.

Transfer Story of the Week

Our transfer story of this week comes from Stoke City, where they have just signed Maxim Choupo-Moting on a free transfer from Schalke. Choupo-Moting is nothing special. He’s a big lad who can run the channels all day and be a focal point up front. He offers little else. He’s actually quite poor when he does get the ball into his feet and, when it comes to him in the air, all that height means nothing as he has a head like a new pound coin. But this is a typical Stoke signing, isn’t it? They sort of pride themselves on being a land of the misfit toys. They take all the players from around Europe that nobody wants anymore, like Choupo-Moting, Marc Muniesa and Eric Pieters, and turn them into Stoke players – big, horrible bastards with sharpened studs and arses that wouldn’t fit on a Belfast bog. Every so often they will have a success story, such as Marko Arnautovic who they have just sold to West Ham United for a rip off £20 million. But most just turn into carthorses because they have played with Geoff Cameron day in, day out. Ah well Maxim, at least you play for Cameroon so you’re chances of international football won’t suffer.