Getting Thrashed is Shite

Christ that was hard to watch. I’m not used to seeing that. It’s usually Liverpool who are dishing out 5-0 hammerings, not on the receiving end of them. I had to go to work yesterday and listen to all the blue shite thinking they were hilarious with their “5 times” shouts. Ha fucking ha. I couldn’t even pray to Jesus because he was slotting two past us either side of half time. There was so much wrong with it that I couldn’t help myself but laugh. If hadn’t have laughed, I’d have defo cried. Seriously though, what do you say about a defeat like that to one of your rivals near the top end of the league. It’s hard to explain and even harder to take. If it weren’t for this column, I’d have curled up into a ball and pretended it was still an international week.


Nobody likes a Sunday. The only people who like Sundays are people who are off on Mondays. So having football on telly at 1.30 p.m and 4 p.m every Sunday afternoon is a little bit of salvation. It Sky’s way of telling us, “it’s OK. It’s all going to be OK.” But it wasn’t, was it? Super Sunday this week was distinctly average Sunday. In fact, it was just Sunday. You probably hoped that Burnley and Crystal Palace would be one of those games where there was so little quality that it might have resulted in goals. But no. Instead we had Chris Wood scoring from a terrible back pass in the 4th minute and Frank de Boer’s last game in charge of Palace seeing his side practically bang their repeatedly against a wall for the next 86 minutes. Never mind, there’s still…oh. Swansea City vs. Newcastle United was the 4 o’clock kick-off. Fuck it, I’ll watch the cycling instead.

77 days

Frank de Boer’s time at Crystal Palace came to an end yesterday after just 77 days in charge. You have to feel sorry for poor Frank. He was brought in to change the whole footballing philosophy of Palace so they played more like, ahem, Ajax. He’s been given 3 months to do so, with the likes of Christian Benteke and Scott Dann in his side – hardly Kasper Dolberg and Davinson Sanchez. So, they lost all 4 of their opening games, what did Steve Parish expect? He asked his manager to turn Dave Bassett’s Wimbledon, into Johan Cryuff’s Barcelona. Of course they are pointless, much like your appointment of de Boer is looking now. As if this situation wasn’t absurd enough, Palace have done a complete U-turn on their plan to become a total football side and it looks like they are giving Roy Hodgson the job. Roy is a lot of things, none of them good as far as a football manager goes, but he certainly isn’t Pep Guardiola in disguise. Palace might stay up, Steve Parish has made himself look like a total prick in the meantime.