My Fantasy Football Failings: Glenn Murray is on fire and I won’t do the Arsene gag twice

Fantasy Football

After last weekend’s absolute car crash, how did I do this week? Did I manage to actually confirm a transfer? Did I manage to field the team I thought I had selected? Are my arrows the right colour for once?

So many questions, let’s get some answers.

Jordan Pickford, 3 points

Worryingly, I think I might need to be looking at some Pickford removals this week. Everton are dire, and it is not Jordan’s fault. But, despite the fact he is the best English keeper around, I need more points. Sorry, Jordan.

Ben Davies, 6 points

Benno is making a late run for “defender of the year” in my totally personal and made-up end-of-season awards do. A clean sheet against some toothless Terriers always goes down well here.

Cesar Azpilicueta, 2 points

In fairness to Cesar, he didn’t have any strikers to cross to and nobody really expected him to keep a clean sheet against Manchester City. It was nice of Mr Conte to try and set the team up to get me four points though.

Ben Mee, 2 points

Well, I thought if one Ben works why not try two? Everton at home looked like it might be a chance for Mee to get me a clean sheet but sadly not. Still, the other option was an injured Phil Jones so Ben Mee would have played anyway.

Luka Milivojevic, TBC

Luka plays against Manchester United tonight and I hope United concede at least one penalty, ideally two.

Aaron Mooy, 0 points

Yeah, good one. I got rid of Richarlison a week too late. Shaqiri was out of my price range, typical. So I went with Mooy who, my sources had told me, would be fit for the Spurs game. Clearly, my sources lied to me. So, there is every chance Jamaal Lascelles, who I had sensibly removed from the firing line this week as they were playing Liverpool, might appear with a point.

David Silva, 9 points

And to think I was going to sell him. He is back on song and picked out his brother delightfully at the far post against Chelsea.

Dele Alli, 5 points

No real dramas around Dele this week, a solid five against Huddersfield Town. And I don’t think he got accused of diving?

Glenn Murray, 7 points

I had a feeling at it worked! GM has been on fire since being accused of tax fraud and I can only assume the goal bonus is paying the lawyer. Another goal, this time against Arsenal and I hope I haven’t brought him in too late to have a real impact.

Harry Kane, 10 points

No goals for Harry this week but I’ll take 5×2=10 thank you very much.

Sergio Aguero, 2 points

Not a game for Sergio, really. Never mind. With Gabby Jesus back, we might see that Aguero’s game time drops a little in the next few weeks.

Total (so far): 46 points

Apparently, that is above average this week, so I’ll take that. At the time of writing, I remain in 17th place in the FMG league and just outside the top 3000 in Spain. It’s not very good, really. But then, considering the title of this series, did we expect anything different?