Team Of The Weekend

Joel Robles – A few reasons: 1) It has taken me until now to learn to say his name properly and 2) Playing against Boro these days is hard work. Even at their ground. You have to concentrate for a very, very long time just in case they decide to attack for once.

Alfie Mawson – A cracking volley and some cracking defensive positional play all game. Also, far more importantly, a great first name. Not many are called Alfie these days. Also, the celebration wasn’t too hard on the eye.

Ryan Shawcross – After ‘Loser-gate’ with Tony Pulis, the lad pulled himself together to shut out the noise coming from Big Sam’s mouth. I would love for him to hold up a big ‘L’ sign on his forehead if he scores.

Hector Bellerin – A heroic performance after last week’s knockout blow against Chelsea. I’m not talking about his game against Hull by the way. He went to see Jack Whitehall after the game. Poor bloke.

Joe Allen – Brendan Rodgers’ adopted son has come along great this season. At first I thought the beard was a bit sad, but as long as he keeps scoring I can’t really take the mick out of it.

Joey Barton – At 47 it’s great to see him still playing and annoying others in the Premier League. There was one moment in the first half against Chelsea I did think he was going to slap Costa. I’m still upset he didn’t.

Gylfi Sigurdsson – for the second week – Dear Gylfi, (if I can call you that) please, please, please, please, please, please, please come back to Spurs. This Moussa Sissoko guy is rubbish and I miss you xxx

Mesut Ozil – I love the way he glides across the pitch, complete control, never taken his eye of the game, just to moan about something. He didn’t stop complaining throughout the game, and to keep that sort thing up for the whole 90 minutes should be recognised.

Manolo Gabbiadini – Marco’s lad will be chuffed to bits with his first two goals at St Mary’s. No doubt in 18 months when he is on his second loan back to Italy he can look upon this day with pride.

Anthony Martial – Tony was dropped for not being Willian, the youngster came back on Saturday with a goal against Watford. He played mostly on the left to avoid Jose shouting at him, ‘grow an afro like Fellaini had and I’ll play you more’

Sadio Mane – I would never blame a fellow writer for Spurs losing but David Black did predict that my team would win. Also, I reckon I motivated him too much. I’m sure he reads this. Again, though you must admit without him Liverpool may not have won.