Tales Top Tips: Pick your own score for City vs West Ham and for once Arsenal vs United might not be that obvious…

Tales Top Tips

What a difference some midweek football makes to life in the Premier League. Gary Megson departs for the dole queue once more having been unbeaten in his two matches in charge of West Bromwich Albion and David Unsworth returns to his day job of canteen monitor at Finch Farm. Damn those foreign managers coming over here and taking jobs from the young English coaches – that’s Alan, Sam and David’s jobs after all.

Chelsea vs Newcastle United

It’s quite hard to get excited about Chelsea this season. They are a bit meh frankly, and the stress is starting to show on Antonio Conte. Getting sent off in a 1-0 win over Swansea? That’s not needed, save that kind of explosion for at least a game with Stoke City. Newcastle United fans love Rafa and at least Rafa is giving it to them straight. “Look, folks, this is all I’ve got and all I will probably have when the window shuts in ten weeks time” is the mantra right now. Still, they came back from 2-0 down away from home in the week so there is a bit of fight there. This could be a draw I am telling you (which is kinda what I am paid to do).

Chelsea 1 – 1 Newcastle United

Brighton & Hove Albion vs Liverpool

Brighton managed to draw with their bitter rivals in midweek and tell a few porky pies about the Palace fans and their own security setup. Liverpool managed to turn Stoke over 3-0 despite starting Simon Mignolet as captain (and yes, he should have been sent off). You just never know with Liverpool and Brighton will surely look to defend deep and deny Mane and Salah any space to jet-heel their way into. Once again, this could be a draw.

Brighton 1 – 1 Liverpool

Everton vs Huddersfield Town

Everton, Everton, Everton. I hope that 4-0 win over West Ham was for David Unsworth more than it was for the incoming Sam Allardyce. And Wayne, nice to see you. Where have you been hiding the last few weeks? People were talking up Rooney’s strike from inside his own half as one of the finest goals the Premier League has ever seen. Do me a favour. It wasn’t even goal of the night, even less so the midweek round of games. Any goal scored against Joe Hart is immediately crossed off any “goal of the” lists as it really is a little bit easy to achieve. Especially when he isn’t even in the goal. Huddersfield were brave against City last weekend, done over at Arsenal in the week and will not lie down against Everton but will probably get beaten anyway. All hail Big Sam the saviour.

Everton 3 – 1 Huddersfield Town

Leicester City vs Burnley

This game should not interest me as much as it does. Leicester City are looking decent under Claude Puel and now Jamie Vardy has finally got that 100th League goal (and what a way to get it) there is every chance he could go on a bit of a run. Puel seems to be getting something out of the consistently-in-decline-following-that-one-amazing-season Riyad Mahrez too. I wonder if he has promised him that he can piss off in the summer if he turns up between now and the end of the season? As for Burnley, boom. They are the team of the season so far if you pretend that all the big teams do actually have it quite easy with all that money and power. Hard to call this one, but I think Burnley will leave with a point.

Leicester City 1 – 1 Burnley

Stoke City vs Swansea City

Surely a defeat for either team means that their manager is right in line to be the next one chopped? I really, really dislike Stoke City nowadays. I actually liked them under Pulis before Pulis became a parody of himself. But Stoke City have soft underbellies and this was completely summed up by the defeat at Palace. Yes, it was a lovely goal by Master-of-Arms (and 5 points if you get that reference) but what point is it scoring a wondergoal if you then lose in the last minute to the team bottom of the league? As for Swansea, well they’ve had as many shots on goal all season as they have points and that is why they are firmly in the relegation dogfight. Clement will be gone by Christmas at Tony Pulis will send Swansea so far away from the blueprint of Bobby Martinez and Brendan Rodgers that even the Jan Molby days will be remembered fondly.

Stoke City 2 – 0 Swansea City

Watford vs Tottenham Hotspur

The “Greatest Team in the World” could do with winning this one, considering they have lost their last three away Premier League matches. Marco Silva is now destined to remain Watford manager until the end of the season and what odds are there on him having a shocking second half to the season and getting fired anyway? We know what Watford are like – great starters, bad finishers and that has done for their last two managers. Tottenham need a win, as we’ve already said, and I think that alone will be enough for three points.

Watford 0 – 1 Tottenham Hotspur

West Bromwich Albion vs Crystal Palace

The quirk of the fixture machine throws up two managers that used to be in the other dugout. Alan Pardew returns, begging the question “WHY?” I mean, at least Sam Allardyce is known for something useful like keeping teams up. Pardew is known for a good six months then carnage for the next 18. Roy Hodgson is slowly turning Palace from crap to mediocre and mediocre might just be enough to stay up this season.

West Bromwich Albion 1 – 2 Crystal Palace

Arsenal vs Manchester United

This Arsene Wenger revival thing cannot continue, can it? There is no way on earth that Jose is going to let Arsenal win this match, even if it means actually picking ten defenders. Not that United have ten fit defenders right now. Will Romelu have new boots by tomorrow night? Will Arsene dare to pick Alexis, Ozil and Lacazette? How nailed on is that Fellaini will come on at some point purely to destroy the game? It’s been a while since I’ve looked at an Arsenal vs United fixture and thought, “well it’s not 150% certain that Arsenal won’t f*** this one up” so I am looking forward to it. Of course, they will though.

Arsenal 0 – 1 Manchester United

AFC Bournemouth vs Southampton

Finally, a game on the schedule I really could not care less about. Er, let’s go Bournemouth because if not they are going down.

AFC Bournemouth 1 – 0 Southampton

Manchester City vs West Ham United

Oh, pick your own score for this one. Do you really think David Moyes is capable of coming up with a game plan to shut out Pep’s lot? And even if he was, do you think the players are good enough to carry it out? If you lose 4-0 to that Everton side you are bobbins and as much as I hate saying it, I hope West Ham go down this season and take a long hard look at themselves. Somehow, I cannot see Pep shouting at Andy Carroll on Sunday telling him how good he is.

Manchester City 4 – 0 West Ham United